So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....