You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
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I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.