Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
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Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far