I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
