she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
