so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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