OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize