Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
