Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
