Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
