sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
