everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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