i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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