it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
