Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
