you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
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Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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