so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize