i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
