im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
