Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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