i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize