hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
