the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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