Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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