Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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