I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
