1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
