If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize