FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize