My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize