Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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