you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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