the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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