who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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