Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
