I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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