And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
