The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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