oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
