Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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