Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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