She is in my trunk
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
