how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You're a waste of cheezeits
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
