Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
