hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
