Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just cropdusted the office
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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