Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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