my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
