I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
