Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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