I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Randomize
