oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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