dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
His nipple licking is glorious
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