Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Two words: blizzard sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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