How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
