I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize