Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize