Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im holly from the hills drunk
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We have started to decorate penises.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize