I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
