i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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