dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
