Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize