Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
