Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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