belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
