hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
