Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize