watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
